adapted from two prayers found in “The Valley of Vision“
I have acted as if I hated thee
Contrived to tempt thee to the uttermost
To wear out thy patience
I have often loved darkness,
observed lying vanities,
forsaken thy given mercies,
trampled underfoot thy beloved Son – by despising his death by fearing its efficacy for my salvation,
mocked thy providences,
flattered thee with my lips,
broken thy covenant.
Lead me to repentance, and save me from despair
Cast me not into destruction,
Drive me not from thy presence,
But wound my heart that it may be healed;
Break it that thine own hand may make it whole.
And whatever cross I am required to bear,
Let me see him carrying a heavier.